Good morning!

Few more days to go and it would be christmas once again. I dont really know what i feel now. I dont know why i am not too excited about it, not like when i was younger that i always look forward to this event of the year. I dont seem to find my happiness in christmas anymore. I dont know what makes me happy now. This is one thing i learned in the past few days that i have been exploiting the happiness i needed in my life. I think i have exploited happiness too much that i cant find the ultimate happiness anymore.

but i look forward for our batch reunion, and the samal getaway that we will be doing with kenneth martin and rafael, and i guess a few chick.. hehe..

loving and addiction..

Fuck Love, i never had something like that.. I dont care anyways. A few buckets of beer and being sober will make me feel good at the time or even longger. I can get over with it anytime i want to.

I entitled this one as loving and addiction as i noticed this 2 things are almost the same. Just like what i just said, i can always say i can get over with it but every time, the feeling gets back into you, and all the more again you say i can get over with it. Addiction in some sense is like that, i always say i can get over with anything im addicted to. Like this Facebook addiction that i have right now. I know it wastes a lot of my time, and i know when its already too much for me, I know if i had to stop or not, but you i just cant stop myself from doing it. Like pornography, i know its all eating me up, that it always lead me to mariang palad, and i know it will only elaborate to myself how depressed i am. BUt fuck id rather do it than bother my self to think i dont have her.

missing the old days

yeah,, im missing the old days.. i used to spend my lonely days finding a quiet place at school just to ponder and think about a lot of things.. back then i had so much time to waste.. im already 23 feeling like i dont want to waste time anymore.. i feel like i have done so little in my time.. thanks to the background music who gave me the idea that i should write something about what i feel right now.. hays.. i dont know if i just feel like this because i miss someone or i just feel that i have lost everything after the wrong things i did in my life.. hays.. but i guess that was both..
hehe..

all around the world statues crumble for me.. i just wana fly.. put your arms around me baby.. that song reminds me of her.. hays.. damn.. higschool memmories kill me now.. music brings a lot of memmories men.. hays..

hays..

well its almost 4am, feeling lonely in a big world. i know i made a lot of mistakes in life and i may say it feels bad to not only realize that youve made a mistake the past month but also to realize that i have been doing a lot of mistakes my entire life. i want to change my self and make good on what life has in stake for me right now. i am already 23 and im feeling my life is coming to waste. to think im 23 and i havent finished college yet and have not accomplished anything real yet in my whole life. i didnt really had a real girlfriend. shit! haha..

the reason i am awake right now is that i really so lonely on the inside that i wanted to talk to some real people. but i dont think i can find someone real to talk to tonight. i feel like im in a deep shit and doomed. after all the mishaps that happened. it doesnt make me sleep for over 3 nights now. i wonder what happens on monday when i talk to this selfish kind of people crap. hays..

i have work on monday and i might probably prepare myself for this. its a sales account so i really need to step up on my performance. i will doing sales, i have no idea yet on how hard this account will be going, but definitely it needs a lot of work out to prepare myself for it.

i miss a lot of people right now. i miss her, miss him, and miss them.. oh well thats life.. sometimes we need to be alone to think for a lot of things that needs to be thought about. the thing is there is some things that id rather not think about, like what the horrific news last week when i talked with that Gahol. selfish crap.. they didnt even bother to find my number.

oh well.. God will make a way though. I wish God would still be on my side even if i failed him a lot of times.. hopeless wish.. but GOd makes miracles though. hays..

awefa
a
f
asd
f
aw
f
aw