hays..

well its almost 4am, feeling lonely in a big world. i know i made a lot of mistakes in life and i may say it feels bad to not only realize that youve made a mistake the past month but also to realize that i have been doing a lot of mistakes my entire life. i want to change my self and make good on what life has in stake for me right now. i am already 23 and im feeling my life is coming to waste. to think im 23 and i havent finished college yet and have not accomplished anything real yet in my whole life. i didnt really had a real girlfriend. shit! haha..

the reason i am awake right now is that i really so lonely on the inside that i wanted to talk to some real people. but i dont think i can find someone real to talk to tonight. i feel like im in a deep shit and doomed. after all the mishaps that happened. it doesnt make me sleep for over 3 nights now. i wonder what happens on monday when i talk to this selfish kind of people crap. hays..

i have work on monday and i might probably prepare myself for this. its a sales account so i really need to step up on my performance. i will doing sales, i have no idea yet on how hard this account will be going, but definitely it needs a lot of work out to prepare myself for it.

i miss a lot of people right now. i miss her, miss him, and miss them.. oh well thats life.. sometimes we need to be alone to think for a lot of things that needs to be thought about. the thing is there is some things that id rather not think about, like what the horrific news last week when i talked with that Gahol. selfish crap.. they didnt even bother to find my number.

oh well.. God will make a way though. I wish God would still be on my side even if i failed him a lot of times.. hopeless wish.. but GOd makes miracles though. hays..